The AI boom, one week at a time
LLM Wars is a management sim about racing to the frontier. Pick what to train and how carefully, hire the people who make it good, and decide whether to sell it or give it away. Every release is reviewed, then the market, the public and eventually the government react.
The music starts as hopeful garage chiptune and turns darker as the decade goes on. So does the news.
What you'll do
Train and ship
- Pick a focus (chat, code, vision, agents, voice, robotics and more) and the data to train on.
- Choose how big to go and how careful to be. Moving fast costs flaws, and flaws become incidents.
- Release closed for money or open for fans. Open weights can't be taken back.
Build the lab
- Hire, promote and keep your people before rivals poach them.
- Some legends are hiding in the candidate pool.
- Raise money from investors, but every round costs you a share. Sell too much and the board takes over.
Face the consequences
- Watch whole professions get replaced, one release at a time.
- Lobby, testify, or ask for a global pause. Regulators escalate from audits to suspending your licence.
- Seven endings, from Steward to Replaced.
What the critics are saying
★★★★★"I don't know what a token is, but I'm very proud."
Mum, Mum's Weekly Digest
★★★★★"10/10. Finally explains why my kid quit their job."
Dad, The Back Garden Review
★★★★★"A triumph. Played it every night this week instead of fixing the gutter."
Wife, Our Kitchen Quarterly
★★★★☆"Heard a lot of shouting about GPUs through the fence. Gripping."
Neighbour, The No. 42 Gazette
★★★★★"It replaced my job. Five stars."
A former copywriter
None of these are real reviews. Our families are very supportive, though.
Good to know
LLM Wars is a work of satire. The people and companies in its news are parodies: not real, and not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone they resemble.